Uzgrim's Marauders - Mail Order Flyer Oddities

While the painting of Uzgrim's all-Marauder Orc army has been on hold of late -- pushed out of the limelight by a move to second edition Blood Bowl -- I've been keeping my eyes out for the few Marauder Orcs I'm missing and this last week I've picked up two which are sufficiently odd to deserve sharing here. May I present, Orc 9 and Orc 17 from the November 1988 Mail Order Flyer...

Orc 9 is a curious chap, mainly because he appears to be from outer space (more specifically, from the Warhammer 40,000 universe).

















His fate in my Warhammer army remains undecided. He either (a) hides discreetly in the middle ranks of a large unit of Orc warriors, or (b) he stands proud as a time-travelling Shaman whose magics are perhaps simply the result of his high-tech equipment. Votes please...

Orc 17 is a classic. Here he is:

His 'axes-akimbo' stance appears to be based on Jes Goodwin's classic Chaos Warrior Slambo which was released, I think, in 1986 (though I'm unsure as to the respective dates at which these two were sculpted so that's pure speculation - perhaps someone reading knows?). There's just one odd thing - he's tiny - think 'large goblin' and you'll have it about right (that's a 20mm base he's on there). Small though he is, I think he's fantastic. What he lacks in stature he makes up for in chutzpah and he's destined for the front ranks.

There are still a couple of Orcs missing from the ranks so the hunt continues...

Blood Bowl: Chaos Pact

Here's a picture of my as-yet unnamed Chaos Pact team painted over the Christmas break. Any suggestions for a team name will be very welcome...

Uzgrim's Marauders: The Challenge

Image from: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/8d/c6/73/8dc673d03258f4291b519c9cb45e04f9.jpg

Uzgrim's story...

Rotgut shifted his grip on his war mace, its blood stained shaft familiar in his scarred hands. He looked across the filth of the camp to see Uzgrim, the Marauders’ hulking warlord, picking at the remains of a spit roasted sheep surrounded by his favoured warriors. Nazdreg was there, as was the stupendously foolish Naznob, the leader of the newly recruited Snortas. As far as Rotgut was concerned Naznob's Snortas were pig-loving glory hunters.

‘Oi, Boss!’

Uzgrim looked up, his heavy chin thick with mutton grease. And worse. Rotgut opened his mouth wide, baring sharp yellowing teeth, laughing long and hard.

‘It's time that you wasn't da boss no more.’

Uzgrim had known this was coming. If not from Rotgut, then from another ingrate upstart. Having dragged his Marauders over the Middle Mountains they'd run into some dirty beard-wearing Northmen, fresh of the boat smelling of salt water and blood. Orc blood. Too much orc blood. In fact, in their three bloody meetings Uzgrim had been bested every time and now his own boys were beginning to doubt him. But fighting for position was part of the job, a good part. ‘It's a…’ thought Uzgrim, ‘a meritocra… a merit…  Gah… Survival of the watzzit… Meanest.’

Uzgrim took a final bite of the greasy meat, throwing the bones to the snotlings lurking in the trees at  the edges of the camp. Getting to his feet, unarmed and leisurely, he stepped up to Rotgut, disdaining the heavy bladed choppa offered up by Malfang. To take it would be to admit weakness, fear. Malfang, his personal standard bearer and long term ally, would know this,, the gesture more a test of his leadership than an offer of support. Malfang’s loyalty would last no longer than Uzgrim's strength.

A ragged circle of boyz formed, hooting, jeering, spitting and laughing. Rotgut raised his mace in the air, barking out a guttural challenge, jabbing a thick finger into Uzgrim’s chest. The import of the gesture was clear and Uzgrim's response was instant. His forehead connecting with the bridge of Rotgut’s stub nose. The blow had little effect beyond rocking Rotgut’s head back. It was all the opening Uzgrim needed, his tusk-like teeth tearing a ragged hole in his opponent’s thick neck.  

Rotgut slumped to the blood soaked ground, his challenge undone.

Uzgrim looked over at Naznob, the boar rider looking on at the bloody scene unmoved. ‘Feed him to the pigs.’

The truth…

Behind this clunky story lies a germ of gaming truth written on the grassy (tablecloth) plains in what my boys call ‘Daddy’s playroom’. It's a painful truth. In five games of third ed. Warhammer, itself a painful if rewarding learning experience, Uzgrim’s Marauders have won precisely no battles. Admittedly the first, against a skeleton horde, might have just about gone their way but since then things have gone downhill fast. The next three games saw Uzgrim take on a Norse warband. In the first he drove his chariot straight off the table (thanks to a massively buffed Stampede spell. (The lessons learned. We decided to limit modifications to magic saving throws to just one point to avoid auto success).

The next was closer, this time we had the help of a neutral third-party force made up of black orcs and ogres who tied up the Norse for a while.

In the third encounter with the Norsemen Uzgrim  recruited a giant, a move countered by the Norsemen dragging along a huge unit of Fimir. When the giant rocked up drunk things looked bad and they got worse as the unit of two stone throwers was put out of action by Winds of Magic. Uzgrim's lesson - don't put too many eggs in one basket...

In the final battle, Uzgrim found himself facing an Undead gun line. This was an uphill struggle from turn one. The giant’s second drunken appearance didn't help… The lesson from that one? Maybe use advance forces? Perhaps bring in the victory points conditions to give more static lists a reason to leave the deployment zone. And maybe leave the giant at home, drunk side-changing monsters sound hilarious but actually aren't that entertaining if they happen to be on your side, twice! Uzgrim, who thinks Giants look very cool, thinks a better strategy might be to bring two along…

The deal…

While Uzgrim may have survived this time, the boys won't be giving him another chance. If the Marauders don't see victory in their next outing his fight for leadership is going to take place on the tabletop. Dice and heads will roll. Matt, if you're reading, you'll be rolling for the challenger... Could this be the end of Uzgim? Only time will tell!

Uzgrim's Marauders - Boar Boyz

Just a quick post tonight to record the latest unit to join Uzgrim's marauders:

I need (actually need) some more of these boys. Not because the completist in my knows that there are many more to collect but because I didn't think about how they'd rank up when I based the boars. Having put them all roughly level on the bases it turns out that boyz's arms stick out too far so I need about another three boars to base further back on the bases to space them out.

So, if anyone has any boars to sell/trade please do get in touch.

Enter Irongrim...

I'm not entirely sure how it happened but tonight I pulled the trigger on a new project - Uzgrim's new sparring partners - the most magnificent Irongrim's Conquerors. Here's how they looked in White Dwarf 133:

Oddly the picture doesn't show anything close to is listed as being in the army, I can only assume that they didn't have the models painted, so I'm not entirely sure what the army would have looked like. The good news is that I fully intend to find out how that lot looks (though it could take some time). The other thing I spotted that disappointed me is that unlike Uzgrim's army this lot don't have named characters and units, hopefully I'll find that in another issue of WD when I have time to look.

I've begun with the pikemen which are my absolute favourites of the range. This lot just bagged on ebay for more slightly than I'd hoped to spend...

I guess I need another eight spearmen (dwarfs) now...

Coming soon... the mother of all wants lists!

Finally, some painting is happening...

After too long away from the paint station things are starting to pick up with Uzgrim's Marauders once again. First up, Ugbad's standard bearer got a lick of paint.

The banner is an attempt to replicate the original paper banner, this time onto a plastic banner that I cannibalised from some plastic goblins. I'm fairly pleased with how it came out though I think I need to be bolder with my colour choices as it looks a little more muted than I'd hoped. Here's the original, it's much brighter than mine.

And here's today's effort, the mounts for my next unit.

Next week's task is going to be painting the riders but before then I have an Oldhammer opponent to insult by bringing these riderless pigs to the tabletop!

Uzgrim's Marauders: Thank You White Dwarf 123 and 133

Uzgrim's Marauders featured in White Dwarf 123 where they were given a brief background story and showcased in all their glory as a fabulous army deal that came in at £70 including postage. Looking at the contents of a parcel that cost not much less than that (and which contains just few of these models) I rather wish I'd invested at the time (though I'd almost certainly lost them by now).

WD123 some great close-ups of the unit making up the army. As you can see the whole range wasn't used so there are quite a few more duplicate poses than I'll be collecting.

You even got free stuff for you £70...

 

To top it all off, there was a story attached and some handy paper banner designs.

 

What I'm wondering is who wrote that text and who painted the models? If anyone can help answer those questions I'd really like to know the answers. Not least because I need some more Orc names for my other heroes and I think it'd be grand to ask the original writer for some suggestions.

The Marauders were back ten issues later in White Dwarf 133, most of the material we've seen before. The army shot is one that most people will know:

They appear again on the back cover has a nice picture of them facing off with Karashalla's Reavers. 

I'm still trying to work out who is going to win this one...

Orctoberfest - the aftermath

ORCTOBER FEST 2014 is well and truly behind us, even NORCvember is rapidly coming to a close so it seems like high time that I showed everyone how (not very) far I've got with my Orc army. This is how far:

To add to the thousand words painted by the picture above - that's 20 Orc boys, a chariot, a stone thrower and a goblin shaman on a giant spider with bright yellow hazard stripes on its legs.  I had hoped to get another unit done (the Arrer Boys are next) but this is all I could manage in the last couple of months. Still, it's not a bad start and it's given me plenty of excuse to return to the ebay hunting grounds where I'm hoping to find the missing infantry and the start of the cavalry...

Time for some close ups. First up, the Orc Warriors (MB2 and MM25) who are the Big 'uns in my army. Apologies for the very yellow picture, things get a little better in a moment... 

The banner is a slight conversion, it's a plastic Orc banner pinned to the Marauder banner pole and painted to look as close to the original Nardreg banner as I could manage. Here's the original from White Dwarf 133 (if anyone knows who painted that army I'd love to know):

Next up, my Goblin Shaman. This little dude caused havoc in my game last week, spitting out crazy magic from the top of a tree.

And onto the Chariot. Again, a fairly quick paintjob but I reckon it looks ok (though the grass on the front of the base looks very odd in this picture):

And finally, the stone thrower. I planned to make a base that would accommodate the crew but ended up with this 60mm sentinel base which fits pretty nicely:

Of course I'm nowhere near finished. My next painted unit should be 20 orc archers but I have a feeling that plan might be interrupted as I've just picked up a very cool Goblin shaman that looks like it'll be really nice to paint up. More on that in the next post...

Orctober 2...

So, it's still Orctober. I've been working on my Marauder Orcs for a week now, sneaking in about an hour of painting each evening in an attempt to get the army finished. For some unknown reason I decided I'd paint them all at once. I've never painted a whole army in a single batch and I'll be honest and say that it is about as much (or little) fun as you'd expect. In seven days I've added a few models to the army (3 goblin fanatics) painted the bases of over 100 models, painted and inked the metals on 60 orcs, and begun slapping some green on the orcs (just 16 to go....)

Here's how things look at this point.

First BATCH ONE, the orc contingent (they're getting the painting love right now):

And BATCH TWO, Gobbos:

The next week should see me get the rest of the orcs painted green, inked (green ink is the last of the 'messy stages' before I start having to be careful where I put the paint), and I hope I'll get at least one more colour in them (either red which is going to be the detail colour, or brown on the wood and the various pouches which to me really are one of the defining features of Oldhammer lead models - clearly Orcs in the 80s like to carry their cash with them...

I'll end by revealing 'DA PLAN' as it currently stands. I'm going to aim to finish the entire army (70 orcs, 40 goblins, two rock lobbers, a giant, a wyvern, and other bits and bobs) by Christmas. To keep my motivation up (and to stop me painting my outlaw gang for Dead Man's Hand) I'm mulling over the idea of putting together an Oldhammer invasion of Warhammer World sometime in January. I reckon a bunch of us playing Third Edition with some classic lead would make for a great day out. Any takers?

Orctober Fest!

It's ORCTOBER! The stars have aligned, Mork and Gork have announced the Waaagh!, or the Waaarr!, or perhaps none of those things depending on how Old your Oldhammer is. What is for sure is that Erny, of the excellent Erny's Place, has brought Orctober back for a second outing and I'm delighted to be jumping aboard.

My Orctober involves starting putting some paint on this lot...

When it's Gobbotember it'll be the turn of this lot...

These chaps are all Marauder miniatures and I've done next to nothing beyond basing them with Vallejo pumice and spraying them with Halford's car primer.

Perhaps of interest is this chap, one of my Black Orcs who has suffered the indignity of a weapon swap. When I'm done with the unit there will be ten models and as there are only four poses six will undergo similar mutilation. Cutting up old lead feels a bit odd (thankfully one came from ebay broken!) but I don't fancy a unit of identical models. Oh, and if the arm looks massive, well, it is, but the angle of the picture isn't helping much!

So, that's the start of my Orctober, at the rate I paint I'll be going on through Norcvember, Dorcember, Janorcy, Feborcy, Morch, Aporcil... And the rest... It's going to be a green year

The Dragon Zoo...

Over the past few years some of my Citadel dragons have been re-homed, moving from the darkness of my figure cases onto a windowsill at my mum's house. Today Mum gave me some pictures of the dragon zoo. If the figures aren't Oldhammer enough, surely having Mum taking the pictures for me is! Anyway, without further ado, 'ere be dragons...

Bloodweiser 6 Nations - the results...

The 2014 Bloodweiser 6 nations took place last weekend, all of the coaches made it (despite one broken clutch and a trip to Halfords) and a winner was crowned after three rounds of Blood Bowl mayhem. I present the results, for anyone who is interested:

Round One: Multiball



The Gouged Eye (Orc) 1(0) v 2 (2) Blockholm Syndrome (Norse)
The Grim Readers (Dwarf) 3 (1) v 1 (0) Hashtut's Hell Hammers (Chaos Dwarf)
Horton Hears a Human (Human)  2 (1) v  4 (3) High Fidelfity (High Elf)

In terms of the three themed rounds, this was everyone's favourite. Multiball was loads of fun and made for really interesting games. It took me too long to realise that attack was the best form of defence! The most surprising thing was seeing the Dwarf team get 3 wins in a round that everyone thought would cause them no end of problems. Only a couple of rules questions came up: 1) Can a player carrying a ball move through a square containing the other ball. NO. 2) What happens if the ball lands on a player carrying the other ball. SCATTER IT.

So, round one ended with High Fidelfity in the lead on tournament points...

Round Two: Spiked ball



Horton Hears a Human (Human) 1 (2) v 1 (2) Blockholm Syndrome (Norse)
The Grim Readers (Dwarf) 0 (1) v 5 (4)  High Fidelfity (High Elf)
The Gouged Eye (Orc) 0 (0) v 1 (0) Hashtut's Hell Hammers (Chaos Dwarf)

Round two and it was spikey ball time. Just as the Dwarves bucked the trend by scoring high in round one, here the elves dealt out a massive dose of the smack down to the dwarf team leaving the Grim Readers with next to no players on the pitch... I managed what I think is a personal first in 'deciding' to leave three players off for the pitch on defence. As the scoreline shows, that didn't go at all well! The spiked ball was reasonably entertaining, best really when the ball went loose and bounced through various players, otherwise the effect on game play wasn't that dramatic really.

High Fidelfity maintained the lead here, picking up the win and bonus points for casualties.

Round Three: Pit traps



Horton Hears a Human (Human) 0 (0) v 3 (5) Hashtut's Hell Hammers (Chaos Dwarf)
Blockholm Syndrome (Norse) 2 (4) v 1 (0)  High Fidelfity (High Elf)
The Grim Readers (Dwarf) 1 (0) v 2 (3) The Gouged Eye (Orc)

I liked the pit trap round, with the bonus points for pushing players into pits this was a pretty entertaining variant. In terms of rules to clarify, we decided 1) that players could attempt to blitz out of pits (losing the blitz if they failed to get out, 2) that players didn't have to make dodge rolls on the move getting them out of pits, 3) that getting out of pits cost 3 movement, 4) that only one armour roll is made for falling into a pit (i.e. don't roll for the knock down and then the pit fall, 5) that only one player could be pushed into a pit (count it as an occupied square for pushes).

The winner! High Fidelfity

The tournament win was given on points (and not on the result of the game on table one in the final round) and Barney's High Fidelfity took a well-deserved win.

The day was rounded off with a curry and a game of Talisman. Of course this was the real test of skills and I totally walked it thanks to a combination of a troll with a magic sword that leeched so much life from my adversaries that really I had no option but to take the crown. I'll admit that I'd rather be good at BB than lucky at Talisman, but it made for a nice chilled out end to the day's gaming.

Bloodweiser Blood Bowl 6 Nations - the trophy... and some balls...

Preparations are now well underway for the Bloodweiser 6 Nations (and a good job too, it's next week). Playtesting last week indicated that pit trap-spiky-multiball mayhem is a goer, and painting tonight sorted the balls and the trophy. Up top you can see the trophy, nothing too fancy but I reckon it'll do just fine for the home-brew tournament that's on the horizon. And here's Varag, taking great delight in showing off his (three) spiky balls -

Thanks to Lewis over on Facebook for helping me out with the third ball (I only had the two!)

Next up, the rules pack...

Warlock Magazine

You know it's a good day at work when you get to spend a couple of hours reading Warlock Magazine... that's how my day ended today, reading all thirteen issues as background reading for an article I'm working on. For anyone who doesn't know, Warlock was the magazine of Jackson and Livingstone's Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks, first published by Penguin and later by Games Workshop. Offering a slightly off-kilter view of GW's early history it makes for a very entertaining read (and thankfully it can all be found online very easily).

Blood Bowl Pit Traps

At the grand cost of 72 pence and a couple of hours of cutting out and sticking, and the pit trap counters are ready for the Bloodweiser 6 Nations Blood Bowl tournament!

You can just see the Queen's head ghosting through, making these tokens both spooky and regal!

Next up, spiky balls and the trophy, and then I think things are just about ready. Two weeks to go the the, erm, 'tournament' and I can't wait!

Bloodweiser Blood Bowl 6 Nations

The date for the Bloodweiser 6 Nations is set. On September 20th, six teams will meet on the Blood Bowl field to see who has what it takes to lift the (very small) trophy. Will the Orcs, Dark Elves, Humans, Norse, Dwarfs, or High Elves take the title? Only time will tell...

The three-game 'tournament' (a term I use very loosely) will be played using the current LRB6 rules, with a randomly matched first game and Swiss-style for games two and three. In line with the wishes of the sponsors, who demand nothing but all-out carnage, each game will be slightly different. All of these variants reprise the variants from the Blood Bowl Companion, with very minor tweaks to the rules to bring them to the modern-day BB field.

*****

Game One: Pit Traps

Each coach places six pit trap counters (3 nothing, 2 pit traps, 1 spiked pit) face down in their half of the pitch. Players should not look to see which counter is which!

When a player moves onto a square containing a counter turn it over. Nothing: Discard 'nothing' counters. Pit: Fall in, make Armour roll to avoid injury. Spiked pit: roll D6. On a 1-2 roll another D6 (1-4 = SI, 5-6 = Dead). On a 3-6 = make armour roll to avoid injury.

Players in pits lose their tackle zones and can't move, block or tackle. They can't be blocked/tackled.

Climbing out. Make an agility roll with +1 for every friendly player adjacent to the pit and -1 for every opposing player adjacent to the pit. If a player fails they remain in the pit. If they were attempting to climb out of a spiked pit roll a D6, on a 1 or a 2 they are seriously injured. Falling back into a pit does not cause a turnover. At the end of a drive all players climb out of pits ready for set up.

Players with the leap skill can attempt to leap over pits (whether they are revealed or not). If the leap roll is failed they fall over in the square they were leaping to. If the leap roll is a natural roll of a 1 they fall into the square they were leaping over (unless it is occupied). If the square contains a pit trap they fall in.

Players can be pushed into pits. Casualties caused in this way do count towards SPPs. Pit traps count as empty squares for pushbacks so can always be selected as the target squares for pushes. Only roll once for armour when players fall into a pit (i.e. they don't roll for the initial block and then the fall).

If a ball lands in a square containing an uncovered pit marker it does not result in the counter being turned over. If the ball lands in a square containing a revealed pit (including a pit with a player in it) scatter the ball - fortune (or magic) prevent it from falling in.

*****

Game Two: Spiky Death Ball

Throwing ranges increased by one category. No Longbombs.

Catching spiky balls is dangerous. If a player fails a catch or pick up roll they must make an armour roll with a +1 modifier.

The ball can be thrown to empty square but this will cause a turnover as per the normal rules.

The ball can be thrown at opposing players (quick/short pass only). If the pass is accurate the player must make an armour roll with a +1 modifier. If the armour roll is passed the player may roll to catch the ball (with no modifiers for accuracy). If the armour roll is failed roll on the injury table: if this results in the player leaving the pitch place the ball in the square they occupied. If the player remains on the pitch scatter the ball from their square as if they had failed a catch roll.

*****

Game Three: Multiball... 

Simple - there are two balls in play. Either can be used to score, once a touchdown has been scored set up the teams for the next drive (i.e. don't play on with the remaining ball). Players cannot carry two balls (including mutants with three arms)!

1. Both teams, beginning with the kicking team, place a ball in the opposing team's half.
2. Scatter both balls. There is no touchback in Multiball... so place carefully! It entirely possible for one team to have both balls!
3. Roll on kick off table.
4. Resolve result (if High Kick is rolled apply the result to both teams).
5. Bounce/catch/touchback both balls.

*****

I throw these rules out for comments. Is there anything in this translation from second ed to LRB6 that looks like a problem? Any better suggestions? Bring them on!

Incoming: Oldhammer...

I like to tell myself that I'm not actually buying anything much at the moment but one look at the incoming post this last week or so suggests that I'm not being entirely honest with myself... Here's the swag:

So what's there? The mighty trio of rulebooks (this copy of WFB can replace my own slightly wonky copy and the other two mean an end of reading PDFs), the two Marauder Orcs complete my set and I think bring the unit up to a respectable ten (there's converting to be done to make sure the unit doesn't look too samey as there are only 4 poses), the titan gets to join my titan legion as the second Warlord (entirely unneeded for games really), and the Blood Bowl Minotaur is... well, he's a seed for a team I don't yet have. Either Chaos Dwarf or Chaos Pact I expect and of course his presence in the leadpile means that I 'need' the other 15 players.

All of this good stuff has me doing the same happy dance that you can see being demonstrated by the titan above. Tell me I'm not the only one trying to intercept the postman before he alerts the rest of the house to what's going on...

Blood Bowl Fans...

This is the first instalment of what is a very slow-burn project – Blood Bowl fans…